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When I arrive for an in-home consultation with clients, I always want to know where dogs spend their time, where they are allowed or not, and what the household rules are. People who allow their dogs on the furniture are often sheepish about admitting it. I often hear things like “I know we shouldn’t, but we do allow our dog to snuggle on the couch with us.”
People will assume that I will tell them they should not do this. They will assume that I will try to change that. I rarely do. As with many other things that dogs do, many people have been led to believe that this behavior will cause a dog to think he is dominant or alpha in the household. That is simply not true. The same goes for dogs going through the door first, dogs walking in front on you on a walk, dogs eating dinner before you eat your dinner, and so many other things. If you’ve been told that, strike it from your memory right now! It is simply not true.
My dogs are allowed to snuggle with me on the couch. My dogs quite often walk ahead of me on walks. My dogs are usually fed dinner before I sit down to relax and eat my own dinner. Are my dogs dominant? Are they trying to take over the household? Am I subservient to them? Absolutely not!
Years ago, I didn’t allow my dogs on the furniture. I was afraid of getting my couch dirty with muddy feet. I now put a blanket on the couch that I can pull off and easily wash whenever I need. I have always loved to snuggle with my dogs, but I used to sit on the floor to snuggle with them. It was very uncomfortable, but it was a sacrifice I made to snuggle with them. Then one day I decided this was absurd. If I loved snuggling but it was more comfortable on the couch, why not allow the dogs up there with me? So I did. And I have never once regretted it. My dogs all love to snuggle with me and I with them.
Romeo, my Vizsla, has been a master snuggler since day one. He will snuggle with me no matter how small the space and no matter how warm it is. His favorite place in the entire world is in his momma’s lap! Zuzu, our Greyhound puppy, was not much of a snuggler at first. I think she gets too warm much easier than Romeo does. She is becoming more and more of a snuggler with me, but she will often end up moving to the floor where it’s cooler after a bit.
Now, I do have rules in place. If my dogs were being possessive of the couch and not allowing us to join them if they are already there, then they would lose their privileges. My rules for couch-sharing are these:
- If I say, “Off!” dogs must immediately get off the couch.
- If I say, “Move!” dogs must immediately get up and move over so I can sit in my usual spot. Once I am settled in, they are welcome to come back and snuggle with me.
- Couches/chairs are for napping only. Dogs are not allowed to play on the couch. Dogs are not allowed to chew bully sticks on the couch. Dogs are not allowed to chew on the couch.
I do not allow my dogs on the bed. As much as I like to snuggle, I also like to sleep. And I know I would not get a good night’s sleep if they were snuggled with me at bedtime.
These are my rules when it comes to furniture. I’m not saying you should allow your dogs on the furniture. That’s entirely up to you. What are your rules?
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So, do you use the “Off” command when the dogs start to play? Does it confuse the dog at all that they are allowed on the couch sometimes but not others? This is where my boyfriend and I disagree. He thinks it’s too confusing and gets mad when I try to tell our dog off if he’s playing with our roommates dog on the couch. I think that he’s smart enough to understand that he can be on the couch when he’s calm, but not when they’re playing. I’d love some insight into this!
Hi Grace, yes, if my dogs are on the couch and I want them off from it, I say “Off”. Just because they are allowed on the couch does not mean they cannot be asked to get off from it sometimes. You can ask them to get off any time you want! And yes, if they start to get rowdy/playing/chewing/etc. then my dogs do need to get Off the couch. I do have rules about what my dogs can and cannot do on the couch. Just as I have rules about what they can and cannot do in the house vs outside of the house. For example, they are allowed to play with sticks outside but they are not allowed to bring them inside. Same with the couch, they can understand what is allowed and not allowed AS LONG AS YOU ARE CONSISTENT with those rules. What gets confusing to our dogs is when we keep changing what the rules are.
My pets are allowed on the furniture. It doesn’t bother me as I keep all furniture that they would sit on covered. When guests are over the covers are removed so they can sit down without getting dog or cat hairs on their clothes.
The dog has been trained to get down when I tell her to. This isn’t a point of contention – she was trained with positive reinforcement (rewarded for getting down when asked) so she doesn’t view it as a bad thing and I ask her in a gentle tone so she isn’t scared or intimidated. Result is she will get down with no fuss.
Dogs that snap or growl when asked to move have either been trained with the wrong methods (aversives or punishments) or have trust issues (they think something bad will happen or they think the owner is being aggressive or intimidating) or both.
The cats are harder to train. They might get down when asked but if they don’t feel like it they’re selectively deaf. I usually have to pick them up and put them on the floor if I want to move them. Still, they won’t fight me for the space – they’ll just look offended and stalk off.
With cats in the house I feel it would be futile to train the dog not to get on the furniture – the cats would still do it regardless so the furniture still requires pet covers anyway. May as well let the dog enjoy the sofa if the cats are going to.
Thanks for your thoughts, Miss Cellany! It is definitely more of a challenge to allow some pets on the furniture and not others, thought it can be done with some effort.